Feeling Unsettled

Thank you Johanna Money

Best Gift Ever – thank you Johanna.

Every year, around Independence Day, I become introspective. This started back in 1999 since it was July 4, that my then husband and I began discussing divorce.

Pretty much every year since then I have reevaluated my life, my path, & my goals. Some people make New Year’s resolutions (and I try), but for me, July 4 is that day. What needs to be embraced? What needs to be let go?

A decade later I got the mid-life crisis car & filed for divorce #2. July 4 is huge for me.

A few years ago, around this time, I made the decision to quit my job and move back to Denver. My last day in the office was July 6, 2012. Not everything lines up perfectly on the calendar.

More recently, my boss, who is fantastic, announced that he’s leaving to pursue new opportunities. His last day in the office will be July 4. Happy Independence Day. I suspect this timing means more to me than it does to him. And, while most of us expected that he would move on to bigger and better things eventually, none of us expected it NOW…surely a year or five from now. He will be missed.

Ever and always, ready or not, change is coming.

Needless to say, I continue to be buried in home improvement projects but mostly I am feeling introspective, unsettled. I still need to find clarity about what will be embraced and what will be let go this coming year. Soon.

I have a folder in my bookmarks entitled simply “to blog.” So while I’m chewing on stuff, let me point you to a few random but interesting articles that caught and continue to hold my attention.

1. 6 harsh truths that will make you a better person.  This article first came out in 2012. They recently updated it to change the only the date, to 2014. Best of all it contains a video from Glengarry Glenn Ross that is spectacular. The entire article is worth a read.
2. 10 truths I wish I knew sooner. Yeah.
3. Women HATE each other (in the office at least…): Females co-operate better with male bosses, study finds.  Meow. Yeah. I’ve had great mentors/bosses/peers who were women, but sadly they’ve tended to be the exception not the rule. Women often blame men (and I’ve had some less than great male bosses as well, but they tended to be the exceptions) for the so called “glass ceiling” but mostly I think it’s women knocking each other off the ladder. Sad, but struck me as true.
4. Why keeping your options open is a really, really bad idea.  So many advise keeping “lines in the water” or “one foot out the door.” And yet, this is a powerful counter argument. Still chewing on this one.

2 comments on “Feeling Unsettled
  1. Clay Lowe says:

    Is their a new change on the horizon for you?

    Do you think that people like you and me are not meant to be settled? I am happiest when things are on fire and in flux, when i am in seeker mode. I’m not really searching for anything in particular, but simply love the act of seeking. Freedom to explore is one of my strongest values. The moment I feel constricted, in a box, settled, is when I start to feel anxious.


    • cbkunst2 says:

      Clay – Good questions as always. I’ve certainly been known to provoke chaos in my life for no apparent reason in the past. But at the same time, with all of the recent and ongoing changes/choices I’ve made, I would not mind a bit of respite/calm/stability. Just not for too long. Your poem, “In a Box” is still one of my favorites.